


He's All I Have

by Vforthesoul



Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: Angst, Gen, Heartwrenching, Love, M/M, Major Spoilers, Major character death - Freeform, Sad, Sappy, Spoilers, really honestly totally, retalliation, season 6 through season 7 spoilers, so god bless your soul as you read it, sorry not sorry????, the title is so cliche and sappy i don't even care, these fucking boys, this came to me because of tumblr and further shower thinking, ummmm this broke my heart writing it, whose death is it?????
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-31
Updated: 2014-10-31
Packaged: 2018-02-23 08:11:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2540639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vforthesoul/pseuds/Vforthesoul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jax has gone off the deep end and into another universe after Tara's death. He becomes convinced because of Juice's dissappearance that Juice had everything to do with Tara's murder. He order's Chibs to kill Juice, unknowing of their relationship. Things ensue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He's All I Have

**Author's Note:**

> There are some serious spoilers for a couple of the characters. If you're not on season seven, at least starting it, and would get really mad if things are spoiled for you, I would suggest looking the other way. If you don't really care about being spoiled then go for it! 
> 
> I appreciate feedback and will respond to any and all comments! Thanks for reading :)

Jax was so far gone into the getting out of guns, but fucking every other MC and gang along the way to whatever his end game was. Was there even an end game, or an out, now that Tara was gone? No one in the club dared to correct him or push for something else. Jax would just yell and justify what he was doing and tell the brother ‘you either follow me, or sign with a different charter.’ 

It was like Jax was just getting bored now. Everything wasn’t falling into place and the day was quiet but he didn’t know whom to stir up. All his chess pieces were falling into their places, whether he had planned for them to fall there or not, and now it was just time to sit and wait. Jax couldn’t just sit back and relax. One would think he would spend time with his boys, who seemingly lost both parents with the way Jac was AWOL around them. 

Family? What family? 

“Time we talk about Juice,” Jax said with a sickness to his excitement to Chibs. “I’ve got a twenty on where he might be. The kid’s a risk to the club and any charter on the west coast. Can’t be trusted.” 

Chibs looked to Jax, he was wearing in his mind where this was going but his expression showed no signs of emotion. “And what do you s’pose we do about that, Jackie boy?” 

Chibs would follow Jax into the erupting volcano, but he would also find a way to forgive Juice. To Chibs, Juice was sometimes worth more than the MC brotherhood and Jax- no matter how much he cared for Jax nor how obedient he could be for the President. 

“I would order Happy for this job, but I have a feeling you need to settle this right with yourself and with him,” Jax sat down on the chair at the head of the table and looked over to Chibs, “I’ve got the twenty, like I said. Here’s the address. I want you to find him, say you want to just chat… Say you have some ways he can earn back into the club. But then I want you to get the job done, Chibs.”

Chibs sat stone cold for the longest minutes of his life before he gave a deep sigh, “I can’t do that, Jackson.” Chibs straightened himself in his chair and leaned in to look to Jax, “You might be thinkin’ he’s a threat, and I get that, but that stupid kid ain’t goin’ to say nothin’ to anybody. He was stupid enough to sit down with me in that restaurant.”

“Chibs,” Jax narrowed his eyes, “You’re going to go up there, find him, and finish the job. For you, for me, for this goddamn club. He knows way too much Intel.”

“I’m not doing it, Jackie boy,” Chibs slammed his hand down on the table in front of them. “He don’t deserve Mayhem.” The last sentence came to him by surprise. He never thought Juice would need to meet Mayhem, but he had never been sure what he vote would have been if it was brought up to the table. He was pretty sure it would be a no by now, earlier, out of rage, he might have said Yey. 

“Fine, then I’ll get Happy to do it.”

Chibs was quick to stand and point his pistol at Jax, who only say with a stone face and an amused expression, “What. You’re going to kill me if I call the hit on Juice?”

For the first time in twentyfive years, Chibs’ hand shook with the gun in his hand. He swallowed hard, “You aren’t calling no hit on Juice.” 

Jax flipped his phone open only for Chibs to cock the gun. 

“You can’t,” Chibs’ voice was reduced to a painful whisper. Jax was standing now, the gun in Chibs’ hand following to stay pointed. “He’s mine. The lad is mine.”

“Then go fucking kill him!”

“No Jackie! You aren’t hearin’ me, lad! The lad is fuckin’ mine, boy.”

“Jesus Christ,” Jax closed his phone and threw it to the table, “Jesus fucking Christ.”

From that, Chibs lightly explained what they had been and how they were ended but that still didn’t mean he could watch the boy be killed, or let the boy be killed. They settled to an agreement, or so Chibs thought. 

***

A month later Chibs was at the club house when his phone rang.

“It’s Jax. Meet me at the warehouse in Oaktown. Got a little club business I need your help with. Got some wetback who knows more about Tara.” That was all Jax said before hanging up the phone leaving Chibs to it to get down to the warehouse. 

Chibs was there in an instant. Anything to help Jax get closer to the person who killed Tara and sent his dear brother into this spiraling tornado of neglected grief and very much felt anger and hatred for absolutely everything: even the club. 

It was no secret to Chibs that Jax began hating the club after Tara was so brutally killed. She was trying to get away from the club, bring her boys with them, and hopefully Jax would meet up with her a year down the road. Chibs knew Jax, in most ways, blamed the club in it’s entirety for his wife’s death. Jax may have loved the members still, but the club as a whole? He hated it all. All of that neglected grief and feelings were making his President act irrationally and a little psychotically. 

When Chibs pulled up to the warehouse he saw two bikes which were both very, very familiar. One was Jax’s and the other’s… 

Chibs was off his bike and in an instant running into the warehouse. “JAX!” he yelled, his gravely voice thick with his accent. “JAX! Don’t you fuckin’ hurt him!” Chibs was running through the warehouse in no particular knowing direction. He just knew he was running towards the center to where there was the dimmest of lights. 

When he rounded the last corner his gun dropped to the floor and he sprint towards Juice. 

Juice was in bad shape. His hands were bound above his head, knife marks along his bare torso; some were still bleeding, some were partly dried up. The boy’s face was swollen, bruised and bloody, his eyes were closed as he was slightly unconscious but still slightly aware of his surroundings: that in between of wanting to show being strong and wanting to give up and let a more comfortable unconsciousness take over his body until the next round. 

“Juicey, Juice, hey, hey you stay with me, brother,” Chibs’ voice was desperate as he touched the boy’s face gingerly. He tried to move it without hurting the other but still get him to wake up. “Wake up, brother, c’mon. C’mon, Juicey boy.”Chibs slapped the other’s cheek just enough to get his attention. 

Juice’s eyes rolled open lazily. Through the darkness he could barely make out Chibs’ face, but his brain definitely recognized the Scot’s voice. 

“Chibs,” his voice was hoarse, “Chibs,” he tried to swallow. “Mayhem, Chibbie. You guys voted.”

“No- No, Juicey. There was no vote. No vote, no vo-“

After hearing there wasn’t a vote Juice’s body and mind sprung to life. He struggled against the bounds on his hands and jerked his body. His eyes went wide and panicked and his breathing picked up as his heart hammered in his chest. 

“He doesn’t believe me,” Juice’s voice was filled with panic. “Gemma,” Juice’s efforts ended quickly when his energy levels depleted and he was too tired to struggle and set himself free. “Gemma did it. Gemma.” Juice’s eyes began watering uncontrollably, messy and painful sobs escaping his body.

Chibs took the other’s head into his hands, trying to wipe away the other’s tears with his thumbs as gingerly as he could to not further the man’s pain. “We’ll explain it, Juicey. Shhh, Juicey boy, shhhh.” Chibs held the other’s head in his hands and made him look at him. “I love you, Juan Carlos.” 

Juice looked to Chibs with little to no hope in his eyes. As if he had given up on the thought of survival entirely. He let Chibs’ words sink into his heart and his eyes softened just a slight amount.

“I love you, Filip,” his lips quivered as Chibs pressed their lips together. 

There was a silent whirring noise and Juice’s body went entirely limp in Chibs’ hands. He pulled away with a look of horror and disbelief in his expression, “Juicey?” His voice was filled of terror and mock unsure. As if Juice had just passed out randomly. 

“Juice? Juice!” Chibs slapped the boys face and rolled his head to bring it up to face his. That’s when he felt the blood trickling down his fingers. With a trembling hand he turned Juice’s head to the side and saw the bullet hole and guessed it had gone through by the feel of warm liquid on his opposite hand. 

“NOO!!!!!” Chibs screamed out, dropping to his knees and hugging the boy’s legs to his chest. Chibs was sobbing a heart-wrenching cry, loud, snotty, and angry. He kept asking ‘why? Why?’ as he clutched to the boy’s legs, sometimes shaking them in his grip out of frustration, anger, and heart break. 

Jax was the one to come up and cut the boy’s arms loose, causing Chibs to fumble to catch the lifeless body from hitting the floor so gruesomely. 

“You fuckin’ bastard!” Chibs yelled, cupping the body in his arms. “You bloody fuckin’ bastard!” Chibs looked up to where Jax stood and let out a loud, long, and animalistic scream. 

“He didn’t fucking kill Tara!” Chibs was absent mindedly stroking Juice’s cooling face with his hand as he yelled at Jax. “You’re fucking wretched mother did! Put the goddamn pieces together, you bastard! Why the fuck would Juice kill your fucking wife! You thoughtless piece of shite!” Chibs let out more sobs, looking down to Juice’s face, and just sobbed some more. 

“Leave me before I kill you,” Chibs warned in a low growl. “Before my mind changes. It’s ‘bout to change pretty quickly, Jackson.” Chibs looked up to give a defiant look to Jax then spit on his boots. 

Jax watched the scene before him, heard Chibs’ threats, and his thoughts. If Chibs could put it together so easily, and believe Juice, why couldn’t he? 

He stood still after the warning to leave, his pride not letting him give the Scotsman the final word. 

“He still killed another member. Mayhem was due.”

Chibs was quick to grab his gun and shoot a warning shot past Jax’s knee, the bullet grazing his jeans. “I’m not givin’ yeh another fuckin’ warning.”

Jax didn’t need to battle his pride then and quickly left the scene. He’d let Chibs deal with the mess while he went to deal with his mother. 

Chibs went back to holding Juice’s lifeless body in his hands. His tears were calmer and silent now as he stared at the man he loved so dearly. He felt so much remorse and guilt building within his chest it was easily driving him insane. He should have listened to Juice when he tried to talk to him in the diner. He should have at least heard him out, made sure they were on the same page- Juice and the club, Juice and Jax. Chibs had been so blindly angry he hadn’t had the decency to ask Juice his side of things. He blindly followed Jax into the fucking war and the false hatred of Juice. 

He was stupid to think that he and Jax’s discussion about the relationship was an end to Jax’s revenge-seeking plans for Juice. So fucking stupid. 

Chibs pulled his cell out and phoned the police station. “San Juaqim Police Station, is there an emergency?”

“Yeh, put Sheriff Jarry on the line,” Chibs’ voice was low, somber, as he spoke. 

“Sheriff Jarry. Who is this?”

Chibs was silent for a while, causing the woman to repeat her question. 

“It’s Chibs. I need you to find Jax Teller on the murder of Juan Ortiz,” he could hardly believe he was doing this, but he was and there was no going back now. “On his way to Gemma’s. Got a lead on who killed Tara. Gemma is lead suspect.” His voice broke as a few sobs escaped his mouth. “I’m in Oaktown in the warehouse. Juice is dead.” 

The line clicked after that and Chibs left himself to cry over Juice’s body. He made promises to the boy, apologized for things he did, things he never did, and things he never would be able to do. 

He was found about an hour later by Bobby, Tig, and Happy, whom had been tipped off by the Sheriff, exhaustedly staring off at the wall with Juice in his arms still. His body was stiff and tired, his mind shot, his eyes puffy. She was dealing with the Gemma and Jax escapades. 

Bobby lifted Chibs up to free him from the body and Tig and Happy began working on covering him up, swearing under their breaths by the state the body was in. 

“C’mon, brother,” Bobby said patting Chibs’ back, though Chibs’ full body weight just about rested on Bobby’s side, “Let’s get you home.”

“I haven't one,” Chibs mumbled as they walked, “He was all I had.”


End file.
